Older Married Women Losing Affection towards Their Husbands Typically Cite These 11 Factors
In many long-term relationships, women may find themselves growing distant from their husbands, leading to feelings of disconnection and even falling out of love. A 2025 article summarising findings related to this phenomenon has identified 11 main reasons why this might occur.
- Exhaustion from taking on emotional burdens: Women often bear the brunt of emotional labour in relationships, managing feelings and facilitating emotional conversations. This can lead to burnout and resentment if not supported by their husbands.
- Inequitable division of labour: Women frequently handle the majority of household chores and child care, despite often working equal or more hours than their spouses. This can result in feelings of frustration and unfairness.
- Dysfunctional sexual intimacy: Sexual dissatisfaction due to male sexual dysfunctions, lack of sexual skills or affection, and absence of open communication about sexual needs can contribute to emotional distance.
- Lack of emotional communication: Women's brains tend to link emotion, memory, and language strongly, so when they seek emotional sharing, men who were socialised to communicate more functionally may inadvertently cause disconnect.
- Emotional loneliness: Even without overt conflict, women may feel a quiet loneliness when partners are physically present but emotionally absent.
- Accumulated resentments: Over decades, unresolved grievances and unspoken frustrations may build silently until they cause deep relationship gaps.
- Loss of romantic infatuation: The natural decline of feelings characterised by intense infatuation can lead to a more stable but sometimes less passionate relationship. When limerence fades without adequate replacement by intimacy, love can wane.
- Unmet emotional needs: Societal norms may have made women suppress their own needs, and when aging brings reflection, they may grow dissatisfied if those needs remain neglected.
- Chronic stress and burnout: The cumulative impact of managing family, work, and relationship stresses can drain emotional energy needed to sustain love.
- Feelings of being taken for granted: When years of effort receive little acknowledgment or reciprocation, affection may fade.
- Changes in personal identity or priorities: Aging can prompt women to reevaluate what they want from life and relationships, sometimes leading to falling out of love if the marriage no longer aligns with their evolving self.
Other studies and qualitative reports have added further insights, such as the role of trust in building healthy and balanced relationships between couples. Trust is indeed essential, as it fosters mutual respect, understanding, and emotional support - non-negotiables in any relationship.
It's important to remember that every relationship is unique, and these reasons may not apply to every situation. However, understanding these common challenges can help couples navigate their relationships more effectively, fostering open communication, empathy, and growth.
[1] YourTango article summarising a Journal of Experimental Psychology study. [2] Related research on marital dynamics. [3] Related research on sexual satisfaction. [4] Related research on emotional communication in older women's relationships. [5] Further supporting research.
- In many relationships, the emotional burden carried by women can lead to exhaustion, potentially resulting in burnout and resentment.
- Inequitable division of labor, characterized by women handling most household chores and child care despite equal or more hours of work, can breed feelings of frustration and unfairness.
- Dysfunctional sexual intimacy, caused by factors such as male sexual dysfunctions, lack of sexual skills or affection, and poor communication about sexual needs, can contribute to emotional distance.
- Women's brains being more wired for emotional communication can sometimes inadvertently create a disconnect in relationships when their partners don't communicate emotions as effectively.
- Even without overt conflict, women may feel emotionally lonely when partners are physically present but emotionally absent.
- Over years, unresolved grievances and unspoken frustrations can silently build up, causing deep relationship gaps and potentially leading to feelings of falling out of love.
- The decline of feelings characterized by intense infatuation can lead to a more stable but less passionate relationship, potentially causing love to wane if adequately replaced by intimacy isn't achieved.
- With aging, women may reevaluate their desires and priorities in life, leading to dissatisfaction in relationships that no longer align with their evolving self.
- Chronic stress and burnout, resulting from managing multiple aspects of family, work, and relationships, can drain the emotional energy needed to sustain love.
- Feeling taken for granted, as years of effort receive little acknowledgment or reciprocation, can cause affection to fade over time.
- Trust is essential in relationships, as it fosters mutual respect, understanding, and emotional support, non-negotiables in any relationship.
