Leaving the Sensitive Zone: Exploring Parenthood for Single,Childless Men
Singleton Adult Without Offspring: The Struggle of Unfulfilled Parenthood
By Lauren Ramoser 🔔 Facebook Twitter Whatsapp Email Print Copy Link
In today's world, more men are finding themselves yearning for the experience of raising children. But with no partner in sight, how can they fulfill this desire? Dating remains complicated, but it doesn't have to be the sole solution.
Statistics show that the number of men wanting children without a partner has significantly risen between 2013 and 2020, according to the study "Unwanted Childlessness 2020" by the Federal Ministry for Family, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth. Around a third of men at the time admitted to being unwillingly childless. This number is a notable 8 percentage points higher than in 2013.
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One apparent hurdle for men with an unfulfilled desire for children is societal expectations. "A lot has changed, but women still seem responsible for the topic of desire for children, family planning, having children," says psychologist Prof. Dr. Tewes Wischmann in a conversation with ntv.de. Women are more accustomed to dealing with their fertility through gynecologist visits, and men tend to be silent about their unfulfilled desire for children.
Bringing the Topic into the Spotlight
When meeting potential partners, it is essential not to scare them off with an abrupt mention of one's own desire for children. Dr. Ursina Donatsch, a psychotherapist, suggests bringing up the subject in a casual manner, such as "At the moment, I have a powerful desire for children. How about you? What's important to you in a relationship?" This question subtly introduces the issue without making it the central focus.
Paths for Single Men Seeking Parenthood
Facing this challenge is also Tim F. from North Rhine-Westphalia. "I would only date women who have a clear desire for children," he says. He has also explored alternative parenting models, as his ex-girlfriend did not want children. "I cautiously suggested partnering with a known woman as a mother. This woman is lesbian and wants children through sperm donation," he says about the possibility of co-parenting, which is a shared parenthood without a romantic relationship. "My girlfriend would have tried, but for her, it was obviously not the life she wanted. We ended the relationship a few months later for this reason."
Gabrielle Stöcker, a women's doctor and systemic consultant at pro familia Cologne, highlights that making such life-changing decisions is about more than just sharing a desire for children. "It's about sharing the same values, attitudes towards upbringing, and changing life situations, for example, if a partner or partner comes along."
For men with an unfulfilled desire for children, a societal shift in perception is crucial to ensure they have the necessary support and resources. "There's still a lot of room for improvement, out of the taboo zone," says Wischmann. For men, it's essential to confront their unfulfilled desire for children and contemplate alternative options. "That would also mean having a Plan B," says the psychiatrist. "How might my life be without children?" is an essential question.
** sources:**- ntv.de- Adoption.net- Surrogacy.com
- Relationship
- Children
- Psychology
Enrichment Data:1. A variety of options are available for single men seeking parenthood, including surrogacy, adoption (domestic and international), co-parenting, and other alternative models.2. Each path comes with its unique legal requirements, emotional considerations, financial costs, and potential complexities.3. Advocacy and support for single, childless men seeking to fulfill their desire for children is essential to break the societal taboo and ensure more options are accessible.
Remember: The enrichment data represents just a snapshot of the broader picture. To learn more about the specifics, consider visiting adoption.net and surrogacy.com for additional resources and advice.
- In the study "Unwanted Childlessness 2020," it was found that the number of men wanting children without a partner has significantly increased between 2013 and 2020.
- In conversations, psychologist Prof. Dr. Tewes Wischmann highlighted that societal expectations often make men with an unfulfilled desire for children silent about their situation.
- Gabrielle Stöcker, a women's doctor and systemic consultant, emphasized that making life-changing decisions like parenthood involves shared values, attitudes towards upbringing, and changes in life situations.
- Tim F., from North Rhine-Westphalia, sought alternatives to traditional parenthood models when his girlfriend did not want children, such as co-parenting with a known lesbian woman who wanted children through sperm donation.
